My son demands that I pay off his credit card debt. What should I do? | Ven. Pomnyun’s Dharma Q&A

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The truth of the matter is, I ' m a moms and dad and my child ' s a great kid.What can I do? I can'' t if he states he ' ll kill himself. You can ' t pay for to assist him if you ' re not capable of doing so.So will you let him drag you around. You'' d be suffering while he ' s alive,.
It'' s not like you ' ll have a better idea.

Video Transcript:

Presume that it ' ll be an ongoing thing. And phone. in between the 2 choices.
If'I wear ' t pay it off for him,.
he ' ll wind up financially overdue. and in a deep trouble, won'' t he? Not just that however he might kill himself.Ah … A kid is threatening his mother.
If he says he'' ll kill himself,. I can'' t if he says he ' ll kill himself. That ' s.
Yes, you ' ll have to accept that. If you believe it ' s much better off having him live than die,. Do keep in mind that this won ' t be your last time.
It'was $ 200 at. This time it ' s $ 500. Next time it ' ll be $ 1000, $ 5000. It ' ll get bigger and larger. Are you prepared to take that? Or would you rather resolve the scenario by stating, “You'' re over 20 years old
,. you should take charge of your own life.”” Would you rather stop this vicious.
cycle by accepting the possibility.
that he may die? It'' s tough to imagine him dying,.
It'' s just as tough to see him live.
like this.You need to comprise your mind.
between the 2. There is no other method. The finest result as a parent would.
be for your son to become independent.
And not eliminate himself? If I trust him when more … It'' s not about trusting him once again. It will occur again irrespectively. Once again and once again? Yes. Actually? What should I do? I'' m not even efficient in settling. his financial obligation every time.
Well, you can'' t pay it off. You can ' t afford to assist him if you ' re not capable of doing so.So will you let him drag you around. If not, you'' ll have to accept.
in order to repair his bad ways. I have to be prepared to see him die.
if I desire him to alter? If you can tell yourself, “” He'' s better off passing away than living like this””.
and accept his death serenely, it'' s great. But if he really does die.
and you cry stating, “” I must have simply paid off.
whatever he asked for””, then you'' d be regretting. You'' ll suffer even after his death. You'' d be suffering while he ' s alive,.
you'' d suffer while he'' s dead.
There won'' t be an end. Wear'' t drag it out. I ' ll think about it once again.
It'' s not like you ' ll have a better concept. I'' m suffering so much since of that.Then simply pay off his financial obligation for him. It appears like you'' re willing to pay it off.
You can say it'' s your last time
,. “I can'' t not pay him off going forward.
Such is life.”” You'' ll at least sleep well. You would'' ve made up your mind,.
You'' ll battle less. I'' ll do that considering that he'' s my kid.
I'' d eliminate his plate.
and let him starve for 3 days. If a teen states.
he'' ll flee from house,.
I'' d kick him out,.
lock the door and not let him back in. I'' d just let him in when he asks.
for forgiveness. I can state this.
because I'' m a childless monk.
You as a moms and dad,.
you follow your kids “around. with food asking, “Please consume.” I ' m sorry, please eat.” If your kids escape,.
you look all over for them.
If they threaten to eliminate themselves,. you provide everything.You can ' t assist it. There are other solutions,.
Many of you can'' t follow through. Hence you'' ll let your kids drag you.
around all your life. If you can separate, you can say “” You'' re an adult,.
you take care of your own self. I have absolutely nothing to do.
with your choices.”” And after that you shouldn'' t regret. Take a look at the hens. If you try and get their young chicks,.
the hens will attack you. When the chicks grow older,.
the mom hens put on'' t care. whether you catch them or eat them.They live their lives easily. And yet humans spend all their lives.
worrying over their children even.
when they'' re 68. The questioner is going to end up simply like her in 20 years' ' time. There won ' t be a distinction. As found on YouTube – Creative Commons License.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/1tMErMTUwks I have a 26 years of ages boy. He played sports
and was searched for university. However due to an occurrence
with a senior trainee,
he wound up dropping out of the school. He gave up playing sports
and tried to return to university
with an academic significant, but couldn'' t. He gave up on school,
worked part-time tasks in Seoul.
And yet that didn'' t exercise well either. One day he came house, I said to him: “” Why not go down to Geoje
and operate in the shipbuilding market
rather than losing time? He should'' ve given some believed into this.He eventually got a task and applied. He worked there for a while.
Now his income wasn'' t much.
He should have thought that it paid insufficient, hence a waste of life. One day he quit to discover another job with better pay. And yet once he stopped, things weren'' t as easy as he'believed. So he ' d end up hanging out in Internet cafes. He'' d remain at Internet cafes all night, he'' d come home throughout the day to sleep. I live with him and yet it'' s been months considering that I'' ve seen him. He eventually invested all his cost savings and started using his credit card. He asked me to settle $200.
of his charge card financial obligation, saying he'' d get a job and pay it back.
And yet it wasn ' t the last time
. He ' d get a task but would stop. I ' m now sleep deprived.
that I'feel like fainting.
I feel as if I'' m establishing. a mental illness. I ' m extremely concerned.
Hearing what you ' ve said,. I wear ' t see a huge problem.
The person who ' s having a hard time is you,. not your kid'. The truth of the matter is, I ' m a moms and dad and my boy ' s a good kid.What can I do? He has another costs to pay off.
If'you settle his expense this time,. he'' ll be asking for more.
You ' ll pay off $200 this time. Next time it ' ll be$ 500,. If you don ' t
pay off his debt … He said stated'' ll leave the houseHome
It ' s possible. He said he doesn ' t desire to live anymore.Hence he asked for one last possibility. If you believe he ' s better off dying,.

License: Creative Commons