“Good Credit, Buy Anything!” – Trevor Noah – (African American)

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https://www.youtube.com/embed/NvLtjOiMDYE Its crazy, Im enjoying it Living the American life
its insane I in fact found out to eliminate here
which was enjoyable Had to get a cars and truck undoubtedly Which I simply almost could not get Had to submit kind and they want your credit since in America credit is very essential I dont comprehend the principle I went to the cars and truck dealer and
there was this Asian gentleman assisting me And we are going through the forms
and he says How long have you lived in America for? I said
I have not lived here for long He said oh
this no excellent for you, this no good for you I stated
what do you imply You can not rent cars and truck in America unless
Since you do not have credit all right I stated well Ive got the cash to pay for it He says, you been here long time
yes thats not the point fine Thats not the point
If you got excellent credit you can purchase anything We do not care about cash, in America all right In this nation we want credit okay Our country focus on credit
we desire credit I stated
If you got great credit, credit is the presumption that you can pay Hes like no that do not count here fine In our country
you can buy anything alright His like our nation
our nation and I was like Look I hate to be rude
When you say our country Do you indicate our
due to the fact that you live here now Or our
because the Chinese own it And he was like
ah its a little bit of both okay But no credit no car for you
farewell I couldnt simply purchase myself a cars and truck this horrible thing, drive around which'' s the worst thing, driving in America, wow on the other side of the road you seem like a rebel you understand up until you see the other
cars coming and after that'it ' s not so much enjoyable you know the number of times I did that, just going to the wrong side? Ugh! and do not trust motion pictures, it'' s difficult to do that entire thing No people dont just drive, no they stop they simply take a look at you, “what are you doing!”” In the motion pictures you drive past.
“” what are you doing!”” no they dont drive, they simply await you to turn around and the streets are so small, you'' re doing among those turns just watching them and you'' re ashamed, its awful I needed to practice for months, it was the worst I remember I drove into a street as soon as I believed I had discovered, it had actually been months and I'' d been doing it well and after that I developed into the incorrect way and I saw this little old Asian woman driving towards me and I resembled, “” No!”” and there was no one else I swerved the vehicle around I was like charm, yeah, hero! and I drove and there where 50 automobiles coming by doing this and I was like, Ugh you bitch!
Ugh! and funny, I informed my friend this story I told him like this, I was like this is what happened and he was like, “” Ah, that'' s so amusing male
, that ' s so amusing and he asks who was driving the automobile? I stated a little old Asian girl He'' s like, “Oh yeah, you cant state that man, you cant you cant say that. I said, what do you imply?'He ' s
like, yeah you cant say'she ' s Asian I stated why not? He ' s like, “yeah,
. because that'' s racist.” I stated what, that she'' s Asian “? He ' s like, “No, if she'' s a bad chauffeur and you state she ' s. Asian, that ' s racist.” I resembled,. 'let me get this straight Asian ' s are not allowed. to be called bad chauffeurs? is this not bigotry in it self? everybody else is enabled.
the world of bad drivers however if I'' m driving on the.
freeway behind an Asian individual and they are swerving around and I go,.
this bad motorist you drive like crap! and I bring up beside them like Oh no, sorry, ha ha you'' re not a bad chauffeur, you'' re simply Asian I ' m sorry isnt it'bigotry in it self? it ' s madness so now what I had
to do. to navigate is use a GPS I decided to get among those first I tried to be a cheapskate I thought get a phone with a GPS it was a horrible error bought myself one of. those I phones with Siri your assistant she talks to.
you, she listens to you if you'' re American she does not comprehend.
one word I say I do not understand.
( noise )She ' s like, what do you require? I'' m like Siri, please call Peter you desire pizza?
No, Siri, Siri? I desire Peter not Pizza “” You want pizza?””.
No, no No Siri, what'' s going on here You wish to, Peter, Siri,.
Siri, Peter, Siri, Siri “” You are not making sense.””.
Siri, are you having an attitude at me? “” you inform me””.
I dont know what the hell is going on here Siri, just listen to me “” I dont know””.
What do you indicate you do not know? Siri just, ah bitch!
What the hell?! It'' s just terrible that ' s when I had to buckle.
down and get myself a real GPS to get me around.Which has actually been working like a charm if you do not have a.
GPS, obtain one it'' s the very best thing you'' ll ever do simply do not make the mistake I.
made, and purchase it from Craigslist I purchased one of Craigslist however the guy who sold.
Because the, it to me didnt inform me that it was a Spanish language GPS which is not so excellent I didnt comprehend anything she says I still get around.
arrows remain in English, thank God but otherwise it was just terrible and I hated it the very first couple of.
days, and then and after that I fell for.
her, she'' s simply you know I do not comprehend why more.
Americans do not speak Spanish it'' s such a sexy language Im just sitting there, and all the guys.
in here you desire to feel like a male you get yourself a Spanish GPS Oh no, you dont understand traffic never ever sounded sexier, just like I'' d just punch in random. destinations and she guides me around She'' s like. (GPS noise) (GPS Speaking Spanish) (GPS Speaking Spanish )and I ' m similar to, ha, ha, ha ha, ha, oh shucks Tomtom,.'ha, ha dont say that all the time, ha, ha it'' s simply attractive you understand she guides me around, it ' s stunning I enjoy that, I
' m going to. discover Spanish since of that Definitely,. Spanish has gone up on my list I had a few languages and. Spanish resembled the 6th language I spoke 4 languages in South Africa and after that the 5th language. was going to be Japanese and then Spanish,. and now Spanish has actually gone up Japanese I ' ve
needed to pause since of the earthquake, there ' s. not that a lot of them taking a trip now it ' s simply sad,. there ' s like no one now they used to walk the. streets, you understand however Spanish has gone up because I was getting proficient at.
Japanese, do not get me wrong I was getting really excellent you understand and it'' s a terrific.
language, it'' s effective due to the fact that you speak Japanese from. your chest it makes you feel strong (Speaking Japanese) really strong where as English you.
speak from the head and the chest do you understand what I mean? your head and chest you wouldnt know this you would not know this if you listened.
to numerous seaside ladies in America like I'' ve remained in locations.
like California where lady demand speaking English from their nose which is not the proper method “” like oh my God you people gon na like do this and I was like there with Tiffany.
and we where talking and after that”” that'' s not the proper way,.
you'' re not using your lungs I know this since when I choked her she sounded exactly the very same She'' s there “and she ' s like “Oh my God you ' re like. totally choking me right now and I cant breath and this is so not on,.
I'' m gon na Tweet about this is like the worst thing ever I am so passing away, OMG”” you understand, it'' s awful where Japanese is strong Japanese you speak from the.
chest, you understand a lot of Americans are.
finding out Chinese I see you know, I see people like “” you got ta find out Chinese they are taking over, Chinese Ne hao ma! she shing nei Sha Nez”” it'' s far too late to find out Chinese, it'' s over No its true, since it'' s also one.
of the hardest languages on the planet I mean how do you learn Chinese now? they'' ve overcame 10 thousand characters.
in their alphabet, you understand this? 10 thousand characters we'' ve got 26 in English and there'' s still people.
going what follows Q twenty 6 this is you understand, 10 they have actually got.
that'' s super wise they must have the worst.
sesame street in the world it should draw being a Muppet because country see them on a Monday.
early morning singing to the kids (singing in Chinese) 5 years later on (singing in Chinese) it'' s just dreadful HorribleAs discovered on YouTube – Creative Commons License.

Video Transcript:

He ' s like, “yeah,
.'let me get this straight Asian ' s are not allowed.( noise )She ' s like, what do you require? I'' m like Siri, please call Peter you desire pizza? Now Spanish has gone up Japanese I ' ve
had to pause because since the earthquake, there ' s. not that many numerous them traveling taking a trip it ' s just sad,.

License: Creative Commons