Best of: Jo Koy | Netflix Is A Joke


That ' s the cool thing about the vagina, it comes back together, it ' s fuckin '–( audience laughing) It ' s like a Transformer. I ' m simply sayin ', like I was 15, and I know what you did in there. All the weird shit you'' re doin ', I did too. I ' m like, Joe, you didn ' t take a shower. My mama stated somethin' ' to me, ' cause that ' s the kind.

Video Transcript:

Filipino, that ' s what I am. That ' s genuine shit.( audience laughing) A lot of soldiers were
fighting for this nation, my papa was dating. (audience laughing) I'' m his Purple Heart. (audience laughs) My papa would state borderline
racist shit to me when I was a kid. Borderline racist shit,
but I knew he was joking, it'' s my dad.
Simply sittin ' at the supper table, “he resembled, “You know why I wed your mommy, right?”” I was like, “” Why?” '” ' Cause I enjoy Chinese food. (audience laughs) “” She'' s Filipino, Dad.”” (audience laughing) “” Whatever. (audience laughing) “” Rice is rice.”” (audience laughing) What the fuck? Rice is rice. That'' s so racist. There ' s a way you can tell Asians apart from other Asians. It'' s by their accent and
Koreans are the simplest, '' cause when a Korean individual talks, they sound like they'' ve. (audience laughing) What, I haven'' t even done anything.( audience laughing') You ' re smaller sized, but I will tell you this, don'' t fuck with Vietnamese people.They will battle anybody.
fight, they wear'' t give a shit.
I put on ' t care how strong you.( blowing quickly)( audience laughing) That ' s their little feet. (blowing rapidly) (audience laughing) I had actually one run up to me.
to me like that, dude?”” (audience laughing) They talk real fast, you.
know they talk that quickly. They talk like that dude. What you say to me like that.
( speaking in foreign language). (audience laughing) They talk real quick, like that, man. (audience laughing) Koreans sound like they'' ve.
“Hey dude what you say.
to me like that man.”” (audience laughing) Vietnamese individuals go real high, they go real high like that, man, now low they start low like that guy then they go real high, like that, dude.( audience laughing) Vietnamese people sound like.
they'' re in a cars and truck far away and they drive by you real.
fast when they speak with ya. (audience laughing) Hey guy, what you say to me like that, man, wear'' t you state that.( audience laughing) Man, say that shit again, male. Leave the car and say that shit. (audience cheering and screaming) Japanese. What?
( audience screaming) Oh (laughs). (audience laughing) Japanese, only if they have accents, you can inform us apart. Japanese, really unique. When Japanese guy talks,.
(audience laughing) This method, Japanese guy, huh. (audience laughing) Ha! (audience laughing) Japanese woman, doesn'' t. matter if she'' s 12 years old, or 75 years old.
( audience laughing) I give my ex whatever the fuck she desires. Shit. (audience laughing) And a lot of you women.
need to be more graphic with these people that ain'' t. payin ' their child assistance. Let '' em hear, stop bein' ' good about it.Your child desires to take ballet classes and she requires shoes and some lessons. Your kid desires to play sports, he requires cleats and some gear. Fuck that, be graphic. Why do I want money? Since those kids ripped my pussy apart. (audience laughing) Ripped. Ripped. Ripped it. Ripped. (audience laughing) (laughs) It doesn'' t stay like. that,'it doesn ' t stay. I don'' t desire you to believe it ' s. ripped and stays like that. That ' s the cool aspect of the vagina, it returns together, it ' s fuckin '–( audience laughing) It ' s like a Transformer.( audience laughing )It ' s like Pussimus Prime. (audience laughing) The BabyBots( sucking sound). What the fuck?( audience laughing and clapping )( laughs) I saw that baby come out, fuck that shit. The vaginal area is beautiful,. just not that day. (audience laughing )That day, it ' s its evil twin.( audience'laughing) it'' s not even the vaginal area,. it ' s called va-guy-nah. (audience laughing )I am Va Guy Nah.( audience laughing)( speaks mumbo jumbo) Push, infant. Oh, begun, Va Guy Nah. Press, oh here comes the baby. Oh, here comes the baby.Oh, child. (audience laughing) My boy'' s head was hanging out like this. (audience laughing) And then she coughed and he returned in. I resembled, oh shit. (audience laughing) The pussy chick ate the baby. (audience laughing) I just remembered my child going, “” Dad.”” (audience laughing) I wear'' t conceal shit
, I. wear ' t candy-coat shit. I let my son know. I'' m like Joe, I know. what you carried out in there. (audience laughing) “” What are you talkin' ' about,” Dad?” I ' m just sayin ', like I was 15, and I know what you performed in there. All the weird shit you'' re doin ', I did too.( audience laughing )I was simply much better at it. (audience laughing) “” What are you talkin' ' about, Dad?” Joe, c ' mon guy, I know what. you, you were in the shower for 30 minutes, man. I understand what you did.'( audience laughing )” I didn ' t do anything,. I just took a shower.”” I ' m like, Joe, you didn ' t take a shower. “How do you know I didn ' t. take a shower, Dad?” Joe, you were in there for 30 minutes, and your hair is dry.( audience laughing )I purchased you a huge bottle.
of Head & & Shoulders, and it'' s empty. (audience laughing) But you still have dandruff, I don'' t( audience laughter. drowns out speaker). However your dick always smells like mint. (audience laughing) Mint, mint and zinc come from here. (audience laughing) It'' s & Head & Shoulders, Joe. Not Dick & & Hand, that ' s–( audience laughter hush speaker) I desire every man in this.
(audience laughing) She saw it, that'' s a grown female, she understands what her teenage child is doing. She just never said.
anything to your dumb ass. (audience laughing) But she discovered it. Whatever it was you were.
abusing, she discovered it. (audience laughing) Just didn'' t inform you about it, she was cleaning your.
space, and she resembled, “” Oh, let me get that plate. “” Oh, that'' s not a plate. (audience laughing) “” That'' s a towel.”( audience laughing )She didn'' t state anything to you. My mother stated somethin' ' to me, ' cause that ' s the kind. of fuckin ' mom I got.( audience laughing) But I thought I
was bullet. proof, sock, genius. Sock. Sock, obstruct, sock, obstruct. All week, sock, hamper, sock, hinder. 2 a day Fridays, sock,.
sock, hinder, obstruct. (audience laughing) Then Sunday happened,.
my mother walked into my space. “” Stop fucking your socks. (audience laughing) “” Are you joke me today? “” You desire me to clean it? “” Fuck you, Jo Koy. “” That'' s disgusting, I been tossing all your socks away, huh? (audience laughing) “” You have 2 set of socks.
left for the rest of the year.”” You fuck those, no more socks, Jo Koy. (audience laughing) “” You gon na go to school.
barefoot like that, huh? “” The principal will call me,.
Joseph doesn'' t have any socks. “” Yeah, due to the fact that he keeps fucking them.”” (audience laughing and cheering) (delighted music). As found on YouTube – Creative Commons License.

License: Creative Commons